Another story from the "When the Voiceless Sing" interviews

Debbie talks about her mother's move into town
 
The cats were still an issue and I continued to handle her finances. I think she didn't trust herself anymore with the finances. There may have been some confusion there too about which bill needed to be paid and when. The vendors were all local townspeople so it was better for her if I kept everything afloat. I had my name on her bank account and my other sister had the Power of Attorney. My younger sister had her own issues she was dealing with so she didn't do that much. She did take her blood pressure and pulse to check her heart. She lived further away so that also made it harder for her. She would visit my mom and stay with our sister or her son. She had moved around quite a bit for her jobs and there was a family dynamic as well. My sister who lived closest and I were on a more even keel then our youngest sister with my mom.

They didn't have a senior center in town because the town is very small. Some seniors would gather at the store, but my mom wasn't like that. She would rather have people over to the house or go to my aunt's house for a visit. She was still driving at the time but only in town and during the day. If there was any sort of emergency my mom could call on my aunt or her nephews to help out. Even though we were making the decisions for my mom it was nice to know that she had all that support in case we couldn't get there quickly enough.
My mom was now able to enjoy a satisfying life because with our help the financial strains were gone and the logistics of her social connections were greatly improved.

Debbie talks about her husband's brother and sister-in-law

During this last visit with my husband's brother, he mentioned that he thought his brother was starting to reach the end of his rope. I agreed and I don't blame him. He's taking care of his aunt with dementia and his wife who isn't well.

While we were there we tried to relieve him by making dinner or taking them all out to dinner. The aunt's dementia doesn't get in the way of her going out to eat.

We could see why his stress was getting worse. One of the days the aunt was agitated and kept taking things out of the closet. After she had moved on to other interests I helped my sister-in-law put everything back.

As she is getting worse my brother-in-law is getting more tired. His wife’s health is getting worse as well. At some point he's going to have to choose between caring for his mother or his wife.