"When the Voiceless Sing: love stories from our hero Caregivers" has arrived just in time for gift giving season. Packed with heartwarming stories from those who have cared and still care deeply for others in their lives.
Add to the holiday spirit this year by giving the gift of inspiration to those who mean the most to you.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Joe P. talks about how his father was his role model
Joe
P. talks about what he learned by watching his dad take care of his mom
I will always admire him but especially the way he showed me how to care for someone you love, as I watched him take care of my mom. When I was young I always saw my father as hard to deal with, inflexible and impatient. He was always rushing us and I still have anxiety to this day when I feel I am being rushed. My mother was a saint to be married to him.
Once she got sick with Alzheimer's he changed completely. He became a person with infinite patience, with infinite humor. It was truly a love story to see him with her. He understood her like no one else. Now looking back on it this is probably why she stayed with him because deep down she must have known he was capable of this depth of love.
I will always admire him but especially the way he showed me how to care for someone you love, as I watched him take care of my mom. When I was young I always saw my father as hard to deal with, inflexible and impatient. He was always rushing us and I still have anxiety to this day when I feel I am being rushed. My mother was a saint to be married to him.
Once she got sick with Alzheimer's he changed completely. He became a person with infinite patience, with infinite humor. It was truly a love story to see him with her. He understood her like no one else. Now looking back on it this is probably why she stayed with him because deep down she must have known he was capable of this depth of love.
Monday, March 19, 2012
More stories from Joe M.....lean on me!
Joe M. talks about people being dependent on each other
I can't really imagine someone not taking care of a family member or loved one but I'm sure that it does happen. Since being a Caregiver for my wife, I now look for opportunities to help others. I believe that we are all dependent on each other. In the supermarket I want to push someone's cart or get something off the shelf. I wonder about whether they have anyone who thinks about them or helps them.
I even gave a ride to a woman this past winter who was walking past the cemetery in a snow storm. I couldn't believe she was out walking to the library in that weather. I wasn't even going that way, but I couldn't let her walk in those conditions. She may have been embarrassed or just ignoring the fact that it would have been better to be dependent on a relative or even a taxi for her safety. Some people think they can survive anything, but this was a bad storm. There are probably Caregivers who resist help in that same way. It’s a thing of pride for some.
My kids are always in contact with me and we take care of each other. I don't mind being dependent on them for emotional support because it feels good and I give them back the support they need as well. We all miss my wife. I know there are families that aren’t close. That would have made the caring for my wife almost impossible if we hadn’t had each other.
I've always basically been a caring person and my dream was to take care of others. Early on I wasn't thinking, as I did with my wife, of helping with health issues but more with the financial side of things.
I can't really imagine someone not taking care of a family member or loved one but I'm sure that it does happen. Since being a Caregiver for my wife, I now look for opportunities to help others. I believe that we are all dependent on each other. In the supermarket I want to push someone's cart or get something off the shelf. I wonder about whether they have anyone who thinks about them or helps them.
I even gave a ride to a woman this past winter who was walking past the cemetery in a snow storm. I couldn't believe she was out walking to the library in that weather. I wasn't even going that way, but I couldn't let her walk in those conditions. She may have been embarrassed or just ignoring the fact that it would have been better to be dependent on a relative or even a taxi for her safety. Some people think they can survive anything, but this was a bad storm. There are probably Caregivers who resist help in that same way. It’s a thing of pride for some.
My kids are always in contact with me and we take care of each other. I don't mind being dependent on them for emotional support because it feels good and I give them back the support they need as well. We all miss my wife. I know there are families that aren’t close. That would have made the caring for my wife almost impossible if we hadn’t had each other.
I've always basically been a caring person and my dream was to take care of others. Early on I wasn't thinking, as I did with my wife, of helping with health issues but more with the financial side of things.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Joe M. talks about his family
In terms of my learning, I would say it was plain luck that my wife and I were so similar in our ability to care that we meshed together from the very beginning. That mesh turned into a piece of fabric that never tore apart. It started from the day we began dating to the day she passed away. We both learned from our caring and our curiosity about others.
In practical ways I needed to learn how to cook when she got sick and I still cook for myself. It's been a test kitchen. I try to remember what I saw her do. It never comes out the same and I don't know why.
In terms of my children, we were always a close family but when my wife got sick we became much closer. I used to commute to Yonkers for 20 years and I knew the point in the highway when I had exactly 14 minutes left to my trip home. I just couldn't wait to get home. I would watch those minutes tick by. I felt this way the whole time we were married. My wife and kids were always there to greet me. I guess this is what made our relationship special.
Once my wife got sick I retired and took full time care of her so I wasn't commuting anymore. I am proud of myself for being able to do this but what makes me proudest was her goodbye note. I found it tucked away in a drawer in a dresser. She was thanking me and telling me to enjoy my life and continue to do the things I loved like golfing, going out and having fun. Even when she was very sick, her looks, a touch and her eyes showed me that she was very thankful.
I can't even imagine not being there for her or having such a caring person not cared for themselves in the end.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Suzanne talks about her Caregiving experiences
Suzanne talks about
not having to do much for her father
I don't really consider myself a Caregiver for my father. He lived into his early 100's and was in good health. He lived in a retirement community and not in a nursing home. The only Caregiving I did was in his later life, in his 90's I would take him to the doctor because he didn't drive anymore.
He was a Caregiver for my mother who had dementia for almost 10 years of her life.
Suzanne talks about medical issues that came up while caring for her husband
I did wake up every morning for the last 30 years and the first thing I would ask my husband was “How do you feel?”. This started after his kidney problems. They destroyed his kidney looking for a stone that they had trouble finding. He was on dialysis for a relatively short while, and that was scary for me. He went on to have 2 kidney transplants. That's when I became more involved. Before that he would go to his appointments alone.
He had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was in the service in Korea. He always had that and it wasn't an issue for me as his Caregiver.
During the last 5 months of my husband's life I took on a much larger role as Caregiver. My daughter and I were giving him intravenous treatments 3 times a day at home. There were other general nursing things we did for him during this same time.
Suzanne talks about her future
In terms of the future I don't think that I'll ever get married again. That's how I honestly feel right now. I do feel that it's different now that I have to make all my own decisions for better or worse. The down side is that I don't have anyone to celebrate with when things go well.
I do like to drive so sometimes I get in the car and just go. I might take a ride just to get out of the house. I know it's the right thing for me. Many of my friends stay home and don't like to go out. I enjoy knowing that I have expanded the possibilities for my future by getting out of the house and exploring new places.
I don't really consider myself a Caregiver for my father. He lived into his early 100's and was in good health. He lived in a retirement community and not in a nursing home. The only Caregiving I did was in his later life, in his 90's I would take him to the doctor because he didn't drive anymore.
He was a Caregiver for my mother who had dementia for almost 10 years of her life.
Suzanne talks about medical issues that came up while caring for her husband
I did wake up every morning for the last 30 years and the first thing I would ask my husband was “How do you feel?”. This started after his kidney problems. They destroyed his kidney looking for a stone that they had trouble finding. He was on dialysis for a relatively short while, and that was scary for me. He went on to have 2 kidney transplants. That's when I became more involved. Before that he would go to his appointments alone.
He had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was in the service in Korea. He always had that and it wasn't an issue for me as his Caregiver.
During the last 5 months of my husband's life I took on a much larger role as Caregiver. My daughter and I were giving him intravenous treatments 3 times a day at home. There were other general nursing things we did for him during this same time.
Suzanne talks about her future
In terms of the future I don't think that I'll ever get married again. That's how I honestly feel right now. I do feel that it's different now that I have to make all my own decisions for better or worse. The down side is that I don't have anyone to celebrate with when things go well.
I do like to drive so sometimes I get in the car and just go. I might take a ride just to get out of the house. I know it's the right thing for me. Many of my friends stay home and don't like to go out. I enjoy knowing that I have expanded the possibilities for my future by getting out of the house and exploring new places.
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