Monday, January 30, 2012
Joe M. talks about his family
In terms of my learning, I would say it was plain luck that my wife and I were so similar in our ability to care that we meshed together from the very beginning. That mesh turned into a piece of fabric that never tore apart. It started from the day we began dating to the day she passed away. We both learned from our caring and our curiosity about others.
In practical ways I needed to learn how to cook when she got sick and I still cook for myself. It's been a test kitchen. I try to remember what I saw her do. It never comes out the same and I don't know why.
In terms of my children, we were always a close family but when my wife got sick we became much closer. I used to commute to Yonkers for 20 years and I knew the point in the highway when I had exactly 14 minutes left to my trip home. I just couldn't wait to get home. I would watch those minutes tick by. I felt this way the whole time we were married. My wife and kids were always there to greet me. I guess this is what made our relationship special.
Once my wife got sick I retired and took full time care of her so I wasn't commuting anymore. I am proud of myself for being able to do this but what makes me proudest was her goodbye note. I found it tucked away in a drawer in a dresser. She was thanking me and telling me to enjoy my life and continue to do the things I loved like golfing, going out and having fun. Even when she was very sick, her looks, a touch and her eyes showed me that she was very thankful.
I can't even imagine not being there for her or having such a caring person not cared for themselves in the end.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Suzanne talks about her Caregiving experiences
Suzanne talks about
not having to do much for her father
I don't really consider myself a Caregiver for my father. He lived into his early 100's and was in good health. He lived in a retirement community and not in a nursing home. The only Caregiving I did was in his later life, in his 90's I would take him to the doctor because he didn't drive anymore.
He was a Caregiver for my mother who had dementia for almost 10 years of her life.
Suzanne talks about medical issues that came up while caring for her husband
I did wake up every morning for the last 30 years and the first thing I would ask my husband was “How do you feel?”. This started after his kidney problems. They destroyed his kidney looking for a stone that they had trouble finding. He was on dialysis for a relatively short while, and that was scary for me. He went on to have 2 kidney transplants. That's when I became more involved. Before that he would go to his appointments alone.
He had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was in the service in Korea. He always had that and it wasn't an issue for me as his Caregiver.
During the last 5 months of my husband's life I took on a much larger role as Caregiver. My daughter and I were giving him intravenous treatments 3 times a day at home. There were other general nursing things we did for him during this same time.
Suzanne talks about her future
In terms of the future I don't think that I'll ever get married again. That's how I honestly feel right now. I do feel that it's different now that I have to make all my own decisions for better or worse. The down side is that I don't have anyone to celebrate with when things go well.
I do like to drive so sometimes I get in the car and just go. I might take a ride just to get out of the house. I know it's the right thing for me. Many of my friends stay home and don't like to go out. I enjoy knowing that I have expanded the possibilities for my future by getting out of the house and exploring new places.
I don't really consider myself a Caregiver for my father. He lived into his early 100's and was in good health. He lived in a retirement community and not in a nursing home. The only Caregiving I did was in his later life, in his 90's I would take him to the doctor because he didn't drive anymore.
He was a Caregiver for my mother who had dementia for almost 10 years of her life.
Suzanne talks about medical issues that came up while caring for her husband
I did wake up every morning for the last 30 years and the first thing I would ask my husband was “How do you feel?”. This started after his kidney problems. They destroyed his kidney looking for a stone that they had trouble finding. He was on dialysis for a relatively short while, and that was scary for me. He went on to have 2 kidney transplants. That's when I became more involved. Before that he would go to his appointments alone.
He had been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when he was in the service in Korea. He always had that and it wasn't an issue for me as his Caregiver.
During the last 5 months of my husband's life I took on a much larger role as Caregiver. My daughter and I were giving him intravenous treatments 3 times a day at home. There were other general nursing things we did for him during this same time.
Suzanne talks about her future
In terms of the future I don't think that I'll ever get married again. That's how I honestly feel right now. I do feel that it's different now that I have to make all my own decisions for better or worse. The down side is that I don't have anyone to celebrate with when things go well.
I do like to drive so sometimes I get in the car and just go. I might take a ride just to get out of the house. I know it's the right thing for me. Many of my friends stay home and don't like to go out. I enjoy knowing that I have expanded the possibilities for my future by getting out of the house and exploring new places.
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