Joe M. talks about his family

In terms of my learning, I would say it was plain luck that my wife and I were so similar in our ability to care that we meshed together from the very beginning. That mesh turned into a piece of fabric that never tore apart. It started from the day we began dating to the day she passed away. We both learned from our caring and our curiosity about others.

In practical ways I needed to learn how to cook when she got sick and I still cook for myself. It's been a test kitchen. I try to remember what I saw her do. It never comes out the same and I don't know why.

In terms of my children, we were always a close family but when my wife got sick we became much closer. I used to commute to Yonkers for 20 years and I knew the point in the highway when I had exactly 14 minutes left to my trip home. I just couldn't wait to get home. I would watch those minutes tick by. I felt this way the whole time we were married. My wife and kids were always there to greet me. I guess this is what made our relationship special.

Once my wife got sick I retired and took full time care of her so I wasn't commuting anymore. I am proud of myself for being able to do this but what makes me proudest was her goodbye note. I found it tucked away in a drawer in a dresser. She was thanking me and telling me to enjoy my life and continue to do the things I loved like golfing, going out and having fun. Even when she was very sick, her looks, a touch and her eyes showed me that she was very thankful.
I can't even imagine not being there for her or having such a caring person not cared for themselves in the end.